


Take care of him

by RobineBlack



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: (do I even write anything else), Angst, Angst without a happy ending, F/M, Gen, I just finished the trilogy again, Last wish, Letters, POV Chakwas, Sad, Synthesis Ending, also because dr Chakwas is an amazing character, and I'm angry that they left her out of all the important cutscenes, and if I have to suffer then you will suffer as well, this is situated after Shepard sacrifices herself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 22:20:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobineBlack/pseuds/RobineBlack
Summary: Commander Shepard was no more. This time she was not coming back. Doctor Chakwas reads the final message Shepard has left her.





	

Doctor Chakwas sighed. For the second time in three years she had attended a remembrance ceremony for Commander Shepard, saviour of the galaxy, peace maker and hero of both organic and synthetic life. Her commanding officer, her friend. She had followed Shepard against Sovereign, the collectors and finally against the reapers. Now she felt empty.

The rest of the crew was still at the memorial plaque on the crew deck, but she had retreated back to the med bay almost immediately after the ceremony was over. Now she was sitting at her desk, staring at the two items in front of her. An unopened bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy, and a datapad. She picked the datapad up again, even though she could recite the message recorded on it by heart.

 

 

_Chakwas_

_I wouldn’t write this if I had any other choice, but I have an important request for you._

_I_ _had another nightmare tonight… You know how they usually go, I have explained it often enough during your daily psych check-ups. But this time it was different… the little boy, he wasn’t the only one going up in flames. I was there, right there next to him, burning._

_It made me think about the future. I try to be optimistic, to be the beacon of hope everybody sees me as, but it is hard sometimes. I’m scared. Scared that I will fail, scared that I will lose another person I care about, and now scared that I won’t make it._

_I know you are not one for sugar coating, the chance that I’m not going to make it exists. I know you will be fine if that happens, you can do so much good after the destruction the reapers will have wrought. I would ask you not to drown yourself in your work, but I know that is a futile request. All I ask is that you drink a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy for me every year._

_Tali will be fine as well. She has an entire planet to rebuild, and I have a feeling that Garrus will help her when things get tough. Joker has EDI, and I am sure that he will be a wonderful teacher to her about organic life and our way of thinking. Liara told me she had plans on making a book on the Proteans, which means that she will force Javik to help her, it’s not easy to say no to the Shadow Broker after all. All I can say about James is that he will be kept busy for the next couple of years, trying to surpass some of his examples. All the previous members of our crew have found various ways to give meaning to their lives, which makes me happy, but also a bit sad. I wish I had the chance to do what I want to do most. Maybe if I survive all this… I could try._

_But in case I don’t survive, I beg you from the bottom of my heart, take care of Kaidan for me. I fear for him sometimes. He had to give me up once and he is still not over it. The way he grabs me sometimes, like he is a drowning man afraid to let go of his anchor in case it will drift away. The sadness in his eyes every time we are together. That tone of desperation in his voice. I have tried my hardest to erase that desperation, but I fear that I was not very successful. Sometimes I wonder if it hadn’t been better to never rekindle our relationship. I guess I was selfish._

_Kaidan has been one of the best things that have happened to me in the last few years and I didn’t want to let that go. Now I am afraid that he won’t be able to let me go if I don’t make it. Don’t let him fade away. Make him live, make him enjoy life. He is a good man, who has a loving family and amazing friends, I know you can make him see that over time. Don’t give up on him and don’t forget him. Please take care of him, because I know that he needs it._

_I guess you could see this as a last request of some kind. I know you will honour it._

_Karin, if the worst does happen, then I want you to know that it was an honor to serve with you, and to have gotten to know you. I consider you one of my truest friends._

_Don’t tell anyone about this message._

_Commander A. Shepard_

 

That damn Shepard, Chakwas thought, always thinking about everyone but herself. She pushed back her chair and stood up. When she looked at the memorial plaque, she saw that the impromptu ceremony was over and that lieutenant Alenko was the only one left standing in front of it. _You were right Shepard, he would let this kill him if he had the chance, just look at him now._ Gently she placed a hand on his shoulder, “Come with me to the med bay. I have something I need to share with you.”

He followed her wordlessly and sat down on one of the beds, looking at his hands, silent tears still running from his eyes. Meanwhile, the doctor took the bottle of Brandy and filled two glasses to the brim with the liquor. One of them she pushed into the lieutenant’s hands. He looked at her inquiringly. “Around this time last year, Shepard and I shared a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy in this medbay. It was around the beginning of our mission to stop the collectors. Afterwards we decided to make it an annual thing. I know she would be furious if I let another bottle go to waste unopened, so let’s drink. We both need it.” After staring at his glass for an eternity Alenko downed his in a sudden movement, wordlessly holding it out for more. Chakwas filled it to the brim again.

“To Shepard,” he hoarsely said, right before downing his second glass, “to the best soul in the galaxy, may she have found the peace she was searching for during her life.”

“To the commander.” Chakwas agreed, and quietly as an afterthought to herself, “and to her final request.” After that they didn’t say anything more.

Nothing more needed to be said.

Today didn’t feel good. It felt as if it would never feel good again. But it didn’t mean that Karin Chakwas wasn’t going to try. That’s what friends do after all.

And Commander Althea Shepard will always be one of her best friends.

**Author's Note:**

> whooow I am not dead! Just drowning in my school work at the moment. and yeah, mass effect as well. I had the idea for this little one shot yesterday and I hope you guys like it!
> 
> As always, please tell me if I made an error somewhere, English is not my first language and I'd love your feedback so that I can improve it! 
> 
> And please let me know what you think about it? Loved it? hated it? Which sentences did you like? I look forward to your comments ;)


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